lost everything that was good in life to the toss of the dice

i doubt to write it, but i made my mind to do it.

there is someone whose I know well all this time.
previously she has a fine life.
but she dissatisfies to pitch upon.

why?

since she so easily fixated things whatever available around her that terminological was better than what she does.

what happen then?

she wagers her fine life to reach her wish.
well, life is a chance then.
that chance can have a good end or on the contrary.

what i saw, her life wasn’t even better, i thought [according to her, dunno] her life is even worse.

so what’s wrong?

nothing.
life is a chance.
and chance is like a gamble.
as a toss of the dice.
we won't know which side will be opened.

then, shall we please by something we already been reached?

no.
in a business world, mostly, a successor is an absolute risk taker.
but...
not all risk taker will be a successor.
yeah, it’s a matter of luck!

so, should i feel pitty or what?
well, i'm sorry for what happens to her.
and i'm sorry for what i did that might hurt her.

[v]

nudity...

in my eyes, is not degrading.

i cease to understand what the big deal is.

the human body is gorgeous.

i suppose it really depends on your state of mind.

i've been fascinated with the human anatomy since i was learn about photography.

when i used to shot a frame, it was sometimes someone that was completely exposed.

THAT, to me, is beautiful.

someone that is completely bare.

exploited.

it is who they are behind the name brand clothing.

behind the manicures.

pedicures.

hungry wallets.

cars.

leather furniture.

etc.

etc.

not everything is about sex, erotica, and f*****g.

though, i will say....

a glimpse of someone displaying some element of intimacy is sexy.

being lusty is not slutty.

ok...

maybe everything is about sex.
but you know what i mean.

indeed...

the naked body (mainly that of a female):

is beautiful and should be appreciated for its beauty!

not just sexual appeal....

of course an artistic nude spread can be considered highly sexual.

possibly degrading.

and grotesque...

but all that matters is that the pretty face and the photographer doesn't take advantage of the beauty and doesn't exploit it....

etc.

etc.

etc....

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never!

Never say “I love you” if you don't care.
Never talk about feeling that never exist.
Never touch someone life if that thing will break someone heart.
Never gaze someone eye if all you do just a lie.
Cruelest thing that someone do to others is to let someone fall in love,
while you unintendedding to catch...

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delayed happiness

i’ve found almost anything ever written about love…to be true…
shakespeare said, ‘journeys ends in lovers meeting’
what an extraordinary thought.
personally, i haven’t experienced anything remotely close to that.
but i’m more than willing to believe shakespeare had.
i suppose i think about love more than anyone really should.
i’m constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter & define our lives.
it was shakespeare who also said, ‘love is blind’
now, that’s something i know to be true.

for some, quite inexplicably…love fades.
for others, love is simply lost.
but then, of course, love can also be found, even if just for one night.

and then, there’s another kind of love.
the cruelest kind.
the one that almost kills its victims.
it’s called unrequited love.

most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other.
but what about the rest of us?
what about our stories?
those of us who fall in love alone!
we’re the victims of the one-sided affair.
we’re the cursed of the loved ones.
we’re the unloved ones.

yes!
you’re looking at one such individual.
and i’ve willingly loved a girl for over two miserable years.
the absolute worst years of my life.
these years i’ve been in love have been the darkest days of my life.
all because i’m cursed by being in love with a girl who doesn’t event exist!

[v]
masih berharap suatu saat akan menjadi nyata…

what is anamnesis?

there are many e-mail which asking me about what anamnesis is.

i haven't found an explanation that satisfies whereof anamnesis.
the essence that i can up to in seeking about anamnesis is ‘something that is done to remember an instance becomes to life again’.
a variety of sources explain anamnesis in a different meaning.
but essentially is that previously i mentioned.
even it has a little bit ambiguous meaning, but it’s okay for me to accept that.

well, that becomes a reason why this blog named anamnesis.
all that i wrote in anamnesis constitutes a picture of life of a man named ‘gw’ [a slang word of ‘me’] as a main figure and some other figure as an auxiliaries.
then, what for?
besides for share, also to help my memory capacity of my brains that is circumscribed.
i hope, sometime i read my blog again, i am able to experience a part of my life again.
i don't care rather that experience was good, bad, nice, horror or error.

in a few posting i also attach a photograph which i take for over reanimate the story.
since i can remember visuals better than words.

well, that’s the genesis of anamnesis.
actually, anamnesis initially isn’t for this blog's name.
but formerly is my concept to reanimate past architecture.
why should be reanimated?
its explanation will be out of topic if i worded in here.

well, let’s understand subconscious minor mentally disorder and enjoy exploring anamnesis...

[v]

kenapa harus wiraswasta?

apa sih alesan kenapa gw lebih suka berwiraswasta seperti sekarang daripada kerja kantoran?
biasanya gw bilang kalo gw gak betah kerja kontoran.
atau gw pengen belajar mandiri.
tapi alesan sebenernya adalah karena gw gak jago bikin surat lamaran!!!

udah ratusan lamaran kerja gw kirim tapi belum ada balesan.
mungkin ini adalah masalahnya:

1. TERLALU BANYAK MENGGUNAKAN SINGKATAN

gw pikir, efisiensi sangat disukai.
maka gw bikin surat lamaran se-efisien mungkin seperti ini:

Dgn Hrmt.

ttrk dgn ikl lwg krj yg dmt pd srt kbr edisi sls, sy brmskd mengisi lwg yg bpk bthkn,

dri thn 1999-2004, sy tlh bkj di aptk km farma, di bag cln srv.
dri thn 2004-2005, sy bkj di LC bank sbg kabag keu.
dri thn 2005-smp skrg jd tkg pkr di BIP
……………………………………………………………

2. TERLALU BANYAK LAMPIRAN

gw pikir, semakin kumplit kelengkapan lamaran, makin dipercayalah gw.
maka gw bikin surat lamaran dilengkapi dengan lampiran sekumplit mungkin seperti ini:

sebagai bahan pertimbangan bapak, bersama ini saya sertakan :

a. foto copy KTP bapak saya
b. pas foto saya waktu disunat
c. surat kelakuan baik seluruh keluarga saya
d. bon hutang selama 1 tahun
e. proposal permintaan sumbangan pembangunan mesjid di Rt saya

……………………………………………………………………………

3. BAHASANYA SOK GAUL

gw pikir, orang yg up-to-date pasti punya point plus.
makka gw bikin lamaran dengan bahasa gaul masa kini seperti ini:

Dgn hormat banget, boss!!!!

halo boss, capee deeehhh!!!! apa kabar nich..?
baik baik aja dong, iya kan iya dong, bener kan bener dong?
saya mo ngelamar kerja nich.. boleh dong… please… boleh ya………

……………………………………………………………………

4. BAHASANYA SOK PREMAN.

gw pikir, kalo dengan cara halus gak mempan, mungkin dengan cara agak kasar bisa tembus.
maka gw bikin surat lamaran seperti ini:

gue pernah kerja di kantor bokap, tapi lantaran gue sering bolos sama sering ngegodain skertaris kantor, gue dikeluarin, setan banget deehhh!!!!
makanya sekarang gue ngelamar kerja di kantor elo, ga usah khawatir soal jabatan deh... gue sih yg penting dibayar gede sama elo.
ok deh!! gue tunggu panggilan kerja dari elo di rumah gue, kalo sampe tiga hari belom juga ada panggilan, elo bakal tau sendiri akibatnya...!!!!!!!

……………………………………………………..

5. BAHASANYA SOK AKRAB.

gw pikir, mungkin dengan pendekatan atau lobi yg jitu bisa bikin gw lolos.
maka gw bikin surat dengan bahasa yg bisa mengakrabkan seperti ini:

Dengan hormat,

hai apa kabar nih…? baik baik aja kan…?
saya juga ketika menulis surat ini dalam keadaan sehat wal afiat, semoga kamu juga baik baik aja seperti saya disini.
ngomong ngomong gimana kabar anak anak, sehat kan..? istri pasti makin cantik aja…..salam aja ya buat mereka.
oya ..hampir lupa, saya bermaksud melamar pekerjaan pada perusahaan kamu bisa kan...?

…………………………………………………………….

6. TERLALU RESMI DAN BERTELE TELE.

gw pikir, gw mulai desperado.
maka gw bikin surat yg resmi aja.
bahkan gw pengen lebih resmi dari surat lamaran manapun, seperti ini:

Dengan hormat,

setelah saya membaca iklan lowongan pekerjaan di surat kabar ternama di ibukota, saya sangat tertarik dengan iklan yang anda muat disitu.
oleh karena itu saya bermaksud untuk melamar pekerjaan tersebut dan juga sekalian harapan saya, dengan surat lamaran ini kita bisa mempererat tali silaturahmi antara kita berdua, bukankah dalam agama pun telah diterangkan betapa pentingnya arti sebuah silaturahmi….



dan...
semuanya gak ada yang berhasil!
itulah sebabnya gw berwiraswasta.
abisnya gak ada perusahaan yg mau nerima gw sih...

thank's to FW for the idea.
[v]

bersyukur atas penderitaan orang lain

terdengar kejam kan?
tapi bukan begitu kok maksudnya…

sebenernya miris mendengar kesialan yang dialami orang lain.
tapi apa mau dikata, itu sebenernya konsekuensi atas perbuatannya sendiri.
dan untungnya gw gak terlibat lagi di dalamnya.

jadi lebih tepat gini:
gw bersyukur karena gw bukan lagi bagian dari kemelut itu.
meskipun awalnya gw nyesel karena gak bisa terlibat ambil bagian, tapi ternyata akhir ceritanya gak mengenakkan, ya gw merasa beruntung.

pesan moral:
segala kejadian buruk selalu ada hikmahnya.
ternyata di balik itu ada hal yg bisa kita syukuri.
sukurin lu! [no offence]

[v]